Wednesday, April 9, 2008

My sexy life...

Can I share with you my morning so far (it's 8:30 AM)?

  • Woke up late and just couldn't get my mojo going.

  • Remembered that my house is being cleaned today, that helped with the mojo...can't wait to get home to a clean house! :)

  • Discovered that my new suit needed to be steamed to be presentable. I have a big gig today and needed to dress up a bit. Decided this new suit would give me an extra kick today rather than wearing the same old thing. (heck, who doesn't like a new outfit!)

  • Burned my hand with the dang Joy Mangano My Little Steamer.

  • Get the pants on and discover they are a tad too long (doesn't usually happen!). No worries, I'll hem them before I leave (remember...I've woken up late and had to steam the suit so I have NO CLUE when I was planning on hemming them, but I was thinkin' positive!)

  • Cajole the boy child to actually eat a breakfast...while glued to a video game, but at least he ate...Lucky Charms have some nutritional value, right? He followed that with half a bag of snap peas. Oh, to have a stomach and food tastes like a boy!

  • Discover that I've been a bit remiss in my lunch making duties and Elise needs a lunch today. By this time, I should be walkin' out the door. Instead, I'm taking her lunch order. Thankfully she doesn't want anything that requires too much work. Now that I think about it, I really hope I put in the freezer disk to keep the chicken, cheese and yogurt still edible by noon. Dang it.

  • Cup of tea kicks in and I've got to pee. There's already paper in the toilet (which bugs me) so I decide to waste the water to flush down that piece of paper before I do my business.

  • TOILET OVERFLOWS!!! What?!? It was a piece of toilet paper!!!

  • I scream (probably adding a few cuss words, don't remember clearly) to the kids to grab some towels. By the time I turn off the water to the tank, it's already cascading down the sides of the toilet and all over the floor. Keep in mind, I'm now cleaning up TOILET water while dressed in my too long new suit that needs hemmed before I should be seen in public wearing it AND I'm running late.

  • I call my husband because surely he can fix it 30 miles away over the phone, right? Again, I believe I used a few not so nice words. He doesn't understand a thing I'm saying (probably a good thing for our marriage) so Carson takes the phone and interprets the situation (leaving out the words he'd get in trouble for saying).

  • Fortunately, I don't see any dirty water on me, so I decide to still wear the too long new suit and hope to heaven I don't stink (it was just paper, after all!!!) because that would be a really bad thing for this big gig I have today (where I'm trying to convince teachers that our graduate programs will rock their world!)

  • I leave a big old note for the house cleaner so she doesn't experience Niagara Falls herself, but that means I'm going to have to clean that bathroom myself tonight (big bummer...I hate cleaning bathrooms!)

  • Carson now wants to ride the bus, which is fine because it's one less stop I have to make and he can hang out over at our neighbor's until it comes (which we've done before so don't call DFS on me!).

  • Elise throws a fit that she wants to ride a bus. Come on, I'm not leaving my 9 year old to watch my 5 year old and while I'll dump my 9 year old off at my neighbor's (we frequently have her 9 year old at our house) I won't be such a bad neighbor to drop of 2 kids! Too bad, so sad....she has to ride with me. Try to convince her that she gets special "Mommy time", which she isn't buying one bit.

  • Get Elise in car with all the school/work gear. Drop her off at school.

  • Remember, my pants are still too stinkin' long and I look half cooked in this outfit. I did remember to grab a needle and (matching!) thread to hem them at work.

  • Get to work, thinking I can just paperclip up the pants and hem them at my desk. Have you ever tried to hem pants while you are wearing them? Yeah, doesn't work so well! :)

  • So, I end up sitting half naked at my desk hemming my pants. (with the door LOCKED, thank you!)

  • But my phone kept ringing. I just couldn't answer it while wearing no pants!!! Just couldn't do it!

  • While I can sew, my hem job looks like a hack job. Hopefully no one feels the need to look down while talking to me today! :) And, I did manage it to make it from home to Elise's school to work without tripping and breaking my neck! That counts for something!

So, after that morning, I'm really curious to see how the rest of my day turns out!

Some mornings, I look forward to getting to my office for some peace and quiet after a hectic morning...this is one of those mornings (now that I'm actually fully dressed, that is!)


Beverly said...

Well, that makes my morning not sound so bad!! Hope your day gets/got better!

PIPO said...

Typical morning, eh?

Ewww...I am not a fan of the toilet spewing ;0)

Sandra said...

Phew! What a morning!!!!!

Super Mommy said...

I'm exhausted just reading that - hope it got better!

Tammie said...

Ugh! That's a heck of a morning you had! Hopefully there won't be a repeat any time soon.